


Juicy

by det395



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Humour, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21766240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/det395/pseuds/det395
Summary: Dan rushes to an IRL work meeting and forgets to close a questionable window on his laptop beforehand.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 18
Kudos: 115





	Juicy

**Author's Note:**

> I created a new IRL worker/friend because I felt too guilty to fictionally scar any of those real-life cool people lol

Dan spills some of his Starbucks drink right on his wrist as he shoves the door open with his butt. His hands are full so he just stares at it and says “fuck!”

He hurries further into the IRL office and sets the coffee tray down. He glares at the sound of Martyn chuckling. He flips him off and puts his mouth over the coffee spill on his wrist.

“I don’t deserve to be the coffee mule to all you peasants,” Dan says.

“I think you made the deal originally,” Sarah says.

“You did!” Taryn confirms.

“I was intoxicated and you should have never enabled me. Here are your coffees, coffee plebs!” He leaves them on the table so everyone has to stand up. He hears a couple of ‘thank yous’ as he makes his way to Taryn’s cubicle. He brings over her tea because he feels bad for making her wait.

“Take it up with the group chat!” Martyn calls, and Dan ignores him with a defiant snub.

“Sorry,” he mumbles.

She just looks amused as she grabs the tea and wraps her palms around the warmth. “It’s nothing to me that you have to stay later.”

“You think we’ll get it done in time?”

“Yeah, Dan, I started the ad templates.”

“You’re a lifesaver, God.” He yanks his Macbook mini out of his backpack, pulling up a spinny chair.

“You look like shit, did you sleep at all?”

“Nah, I couldn’t sleep,” he shrugs nonchalantly.

“Did you brainstorm or do you want to do that now?” She asks.

“I did!” He opens his laptop and begins typing in a long password. “Yeah. So I created a folder for the pictures we can make into the collage, and I have an idea for the arrangement…”

He trails off as he focuses on typing the rest of his password and hits enter. What pops up on his screen doesn’t at first register through his tired, pre-caffeine mind, except that it’s moving and there is a strange noise emitting and it’s a big pale skin-coloured blob. At the gasp next to him he immediately slams the laptop closed and drops his head into his arms on the desk.

The quick realization of what it was makes his entire body go numb in disbelief.

Taryn fully screams and begins to cackle next to him, he’s never heard her laugh so loud. He can hear her rolling away in the desk chair.

“Oh my fucking _God_!” Dan says, peeking out under his arm. “You didn’t see that.”

“I saw it!”

“No, you didn’t!” He says back.

“What?” He hears Martyn call over. “What is it?”

Dan doesn’t even want to look at the other side of the room. At least they didn’t see anything but they sure know something _did_ happen. And they will never let it go. His face heats up.

“I did see it,” Taryn confirms. She looks at Dan, then looks away laughing.

“What happened!” Sarah says, louder.

“I don’t know what you saw.” Dan feigns casualness, holding back a laugh. He sits up and realizes there is no way he can open his laptop now.

“I sure saw something… But that wasn’t…” Taryn starts. She points at Dan with a hand over her mouth.

He turns his head away and looks back to see a hand over her mouth. Her eyes are watering.

“You gotta tell us what happened,” Martyn insists. Dan finally looks over and the two of them are staring at them with confused smiles, like they don’t know exactly what they’re laughing at.

Cornelia walks in from the hall. “What’s this ruckus about.”

“Ask Dan!” Martyn exclaims. “He’s not telling us.”

“I can’t” He shakes his head. His face feels as hot as a flame. The humour is getting to him, though, and he has to hold back laughter.

“Taryn!” Martyn yells. “Tell us.”

“We need the tea,” Cornelia says.

Dan turns back to Taryn and shakes his head with a pleading gaze.

She leans in and whispers. “Tell me that wasn’t Phil’s ass I just saw.”

He groans loudly and the audience behind him erupts with curious demands.

"Juicy," she says.

"Taryn!"

“Was that, like, reverse cow...boy?” She whispers. He slaps a hand back over his face, mortified.

“I want to die! Kill me now!” He says.

“Now we know why you didn’t sleep! Why were you editing it in Final Cut?” She asks. 

He groans while she laughs uncontrollably. This is not how he wanted his day to go, waking up late and exhausted, skipping a much-needed shower, losing the bet that he _wouldn’t_ be late this time, then buying all these complicated Starbucks drinks just to come to work and show a coworker his home-made sex tape.

He needs to tell Phil about this. At least Dan can laugh at how mortified _Phil_ will be.

“It’s on the laptop, someone grab it!” Martyn says.

Dan snatches up the laptop in an instant and slowly rolls off the chair, kicking it away as he lays on the floor. He protects the laptop and laughs at the fucking absurdity of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr link](https://det395.tumblr.com/post/189628983952/juicy)
> 
> [amazing moodboard by andrea!](https://midnightradio.tumblr.com/post/622396232746369024/juicy-by-det395)


End file.
